Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Set Your Mind at "Wheeze!"

Oy Vey!!!
 
here you are again!!! 

hangins aroun like-a wet lawundry, waitins for me to write:  

speckstackular thing!!!

i hate to dissappear you, but:

that is not gonna happenings!!!

However, as they say:

Sit back, exlax, and enjoy the flight!!!

(O, the eggzilla
-rating sense of fleadom when you set your mind at "wheeze!")
 
Lastly, let me relieve you 
with Okaasan's ancient words of wizz

-dumb: 

"to every time there is a season, to every season there is a tree, to every tree there is a leaf, and sometime that leaf an that tree even tho belonging to my nay-bore make a BEEEEEEEEG mess in my yard, droppingleafslikecrazyandihafftorakingiteveryday..."(okayokayokay, we gets the picture!) 

an one more thing: flush, flush, and flush again! (cannons to the left of me, cannons to the right of me...enuff already!!)


P.ssst. from Winston Churchill: "we have nothing to fear but the toilet blocking."


P.ssst. from Old Bean (said in overly dramatic tone)

"SPRAY!  SPRAY!  FOR THE LOVE OF DOGS, SPRAY!

P.ssst. from Pink Otter: you mean "spay"  ???

Sunday, August 14, 2011

POTO-crazy!!!

"wishin-gyoo werr somehowl heer agen,
wishin-gyoo werr somehowl neer,
sometimez it seeemz, iff i juss dreeemz,  
somehowl yoo wud bee heeeRRR!!!" 

(cough, cough, cough coughcoughcough,    COUGH      COUGH COUGH!)

 

Some, (or, to be more precisely, one) ov yoo may be missing the musings ov Pin-Kotter, in these too moths that has gone bye. 

Howevva!!


Pin-Kotter, hav not, nesssssarily, been missin gyoo!!

Or,,, have they/wee???

Anywhen, Pin-Kotter thin-k it bets to carrying on as if too moths ago were yesterday...

Lest seee...were where wee???

Ooh-ooh-ooooh! (hand waving wildly) 
I kno, Pinky Kot-taire!!.......................................................

Sumwun hazz gone POTO-crazzy, ann il'l give u hints...its' not U!!!

Bedsides, since you no kno what POTO meaning, (sigh), I give explain.  

"You try my patience!!!"

Dis is POTO:  Phantum of the Oprah Opera!!! 

Eva since return from Loose Vegas, were wee saw the famuzz POTO show, wee heer at POP cannot gett enuff!!! 

We r "PHANs"!!!

wut izz knot to like...capes, masks, romanzz, even a sord fight!!! 

And!!!!! 
SINGING!!!
Wee lovzz singing...as example, to quote from POTO:

"Naaaaaa, na na na na na na na naaaaa...inside your mind!" 

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Loss Vague-Azz!!!

Pssssssssssssssssst!

Wee izu going to the miss tickle land of Loss Vague-Azz!!!!!

Wee (in-crude-ing Okaasan, Old Bean, and etc.,) getting 
toe at 

(i mean, to eat!) at bouffants and, where are new clothes???


Also, to imbibe in the three SH's: SHows, SHopping, and.......
................SH..........SH....
SHows! (you arready sed dat!)

Imean, SHoooos!!!


SHeeeeeSH!!


Wee will inbulging in many different kind off fun!!!


"Why are we there yet!!!???" (copyright Henry O.Bean III)
!




Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Happy Ea( )ter!!!

i beleeve in Easter Fairy!!!!!

if you beleeves too, make a Easter treee!!!

i tell you how--listen up!:

first, buy cheepie Beet Rix Potter book at grossry store ($2.00, pluss taxx).

Den, take kyuuto! Peeter Rabid stickahs an stick ums all ova your pretty paypahs!

Let stickahs perspire you, to creative peek, your Mt. Foreverest!

Den, go on wok, round to close-by parks and such, to finding the dramatic branch that speak only to you, in the language of treees.

Pick dat suckah up   !!!

Lay on table, in your home, to cluttering up for couple days (not yourselfs, dum-dum...da stick!!)

Erstwhiles....

Rememba, way back when, those stickahs on pretty paypahs? For the love of dog, cut dem out!!! Being carful to follow the grassful shapes.

Den, take out your sowing kit. You do own sowing kit, donut you? Well, DONUT YOU???

Take one good-size needle, and, thred. Use WHITE!!! Put glass on if needing, like Old Bean, tee hee
(I talkins to YOU, OB!) Me, I can do wif mah nekkid "i" !!!

(Sigh) You still hear??

Poke needle in paypahs, loop threw, an tie little knot. Keep doing it, you slackah!!!    

Till you Finnish!!!

Den, go into garage, get pretty pot sumwunz gaves you, an Phil Wif Dirt. Stick stick in! 

I replete: Stick stick in!

Pump spray glitter on stick. Let dry (an' clean up dat mess you made!)

Hey, slumber head...WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dis da good part...now, decorate your  "treee" , wif ornaments drenched in love!!!! 

Dis-play....

for All to see.     :-)))))

Den, gobble down sum choco eggz. If yooz fellin pertickularry ginormasaurous, den, by all means,

Cher!!!

Happy Eater!!!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Filthy Wednesday

Bone-swarr, aujourd-hui!

We hear at Pink Otter Party is enjoy the midweek hoodilay, know as "Filthy Wednesday"  
(or, for you Okaasan-types, "Fi-ru-see U-e-n-su-day").


Filthy Wednesday trace its original back to Drood, ancient robe-guys too bizzy making stone hedges, so no bovver to take baffs. In this respect, such venereal hoodilay is celibation of the relax and bum-like altitude which is how we want to emu-




late.


Everybuddy wanting us,,,go-go-go!!! 


All the time!!!

I say,,,NO-NO-NO!!!



We sick ov!!! 

We think Drood, like man in pub, has a "point" (har-har)!



"Ancient" Bean freerain from this hoodilay, in honor ov his greezy hare, which preventings him from indulge, like us other jolly good fallows.

But, he with us in sp - it, which prods us on
                    (ir)

to 
greater 
depths.  :-)

  
Even Pink Otter, that most delly cat and 
(***) glamoruss (***), of creature, suggest:
 
"eh,bradda,why not go for broke-- how bow'Dirty Thursday' heyhey!!!"


I, for too, say, INDEED!!!


"Be-gone, fowl dwimmerlake!" sayz the aptly-named Old Bean, all pointy-finga, boomly-voice and Merlin-like.


(O for the love of dog!!!) 

Monday, April 4, 2011

Old Bean & Purple Yam

Gutenberg!!!!!

Lately, there have been requestings by Anon Y. Mous to the tune of "More Old Bean!" (or, MOB).

Hmmmm.......

I ponder...who this Mous-character, and why he (or, indeed, she!) shlushpishushly showings up at this time.

Mmmmmmm....Mmmmmmmmmm..............mmmmmmm........
(oh hai! Jes dreamin of  purple yam!!!!!!!!!!!)

(Dream sequence, starring Chiyo-ni as Jimi Hendrix:  

Purple Yam, is in my brain,
My friend she give me now I not the same
Mouth so happy, know the reason why--
'Scuse me while I kiss dis guy!!

Nyeow, nyeow, nyeow, 
Nyeow, nyeow nyeow!)

Hey, I getting distract by happy mouth time...

Notwithstanding and nevertheless, we must carry on, not letting our mind-sheep stray too far from the flock.

?Anyway, the call of the wild is herd!~`>>>>

More

Old

Bean!!!

MOB Rule!!!








Sunday, April 3, 2011

Sunday Hippo

Too-day, we hear at Pink Otter Party is herring from our long-lost, Tiberius.
Tiberius, if you please, is a hippo. And, a rather large one at that!

Tiberius:  simple yet, complex sole, happy to walking round his neighbor, see flower and dog, and to making friend with toilet. 

And yet...and yet...........................


Ennui and despair pervading him, as that is his nature. 
If only life as just a wonderful cupcake, to be eating again and again!!

A lass, tiz also the toad in the hole, the rain in the bow  and the cat litterings that must be empties. 

O, the mundanity!

Tiberius wish for his life uncucumbered with such trifle. A-live of poetry, sunshine, clean underwear and endless cupcake...O, guard-hen of delight!!!

Giddyup, Tiberius!!!...Pink Otter's Party loving you! We loving you so much, we dream you as  feather or balloon, flouting on the zen cloud of happiest, spouting your Rumi-esque all ohh-va in the world, even into the twinkiest, most twinkling star!!!

Deer reeder! As you walkabout on this maze call life, do you thinking to yourself, why so hard to be human bean??

Think, on the other hand, of also how hard to be hippo, too.

Happy Soleil-day!!!

Monday, March 7, 2011

Sing Like The Wind!!!

Well Come, Frieds!!!

Toe-night, we heer at Pink Otter Party feeling to sing a song.

So, in other wurds, lay down your bird hens and let's your mind wander down the loonly alley of whatevah making you...(enuff, all read he!)

(ahem...)

tinkle tinkle leethel stah
how why under achoo!...ahhh,
uppa buff da whirl so hi
lick a demon in the eye 
tinkle tinkle leethel stah
how why under achoo!...ahhhhhh!!!

Friday, February 25, 2011

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Words to Live...bye!

Zut Alors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


It has suddenly dawn on me, and the serveral members of Pink Otter's Party, that Wee (that is to say, Us),  cumulatively, gratuitously, and unanimously, has acquired a lifetime of wizz-doms and other carp to passing on for you.

Tonight, this night of nights, many words are ringing in our ear, words we feel obrigate to bringing to your doorstep, not like fiery poop, but like beautiful mystery babies, or the surprise delivery package, or other gift!!!!!!!!!



Lucky you!!! 


YOu, dear reader, will be abolslutely swollen with wisdom wiffin space of mere minutes, all doo to the kindly of Pink Otter's Party !!!


Attentions must be payed!   (so sit down, and clam up!)


Here Wee Go!!!  (and try not to making a mess!)


Pink Otter Wizz-dom:
"I cahnt give you anyting but love, baby...
That the only ting I plenty off, baby!"
(Ev''body now!)
"I cahnt give you anyting but love, baby...
That the only ting I plenty off, baby!"


Chicky Wot-zit Wizz-dom: 
"Franky, my deer, I dont' give a dime! So get outta here, with your..."(shaddap!) 

(voice from the cowed: "O, deer!")

Okaasan Wizz-dom:
"Why don' pee pull just leave me 'lone?!" 


Old Bean Wizzdom: 
"Let the strangeness commence!" (continue???)



Chiyo-ni (who???) Wizz-dom:
"Bore not others, as others bore unto you."


Tiberious Wizz-dom:
"Provide, provide!" 

And the final words of wizz-dom, from all of us:



"You're soaking in it!" (Oh, Madge!)








Monday, February 14, 2011

If I Onry Had a Brain!

Herrrroooooo!!!



Why, fine, thank you...And you?...you, too?
Spleendid!



How's your weather?
Nice??

Me, too!!!



And how are the "blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah..."

(psst...this part of conservation too borings; fell free to napping or eating a banana, whatevah turn you on!!)

 
Really? 
"blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah..."

(wunce again, feel flea to drifting off into space, the final frontier, or, otherwise,  singing a song to your head, such as "we're off to see-a whizzer, a-wonnerful whizzer of Odd!")
 

"blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah
blahblah...blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah 
blahblahblah
blahblah"


 
Why, thats resparkleble!



Wh-wh-wh-..., i-i-i-its like you Hoodeeny or sumfin, to reach in my mouths and pulling out a white rabbit full of exactly what I going to say!!!




Hey, wait-a cotton-pikkin' minute...what the...why I oughtta...Heaven to Mergatroid!...
Dont think I don know what going on here, bucckaroo!



You Copycatting Me!!!

Ha!

Voilà!
 
Touché!!!

Faux pas!!!

Chapeau!!!


Well, sir or madamm, I "wont' get frool again"
!




If I onry had a brain!!!


Wednesday, January 19, 2011

What Dog Like Best, and Need Most!!!

Herro, you burnin' hunk 'o' love!!! How was your day? 

Notso good? Well, sir or madarn, step right up an get the reliefs that only WOD can gives--WORD OF DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Here gooes nuttin! Toady's word is:

CHUNKS

Répète, avec moi!:  CHUNKS


As in, thick.......meaty.......TENDER (woman in audience faints)

Hope you enjoy dis WOD, bring to you by ole Chuck's Waggin. See for yourselfs!:

Chucks' Waggin!!!



Répète, avec moi: Goodnight, loon!

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Fromthe Ininiable Okaasan

Hi dee hi dee hi dee hi!
(Hi dee hi dee hi dee hi!)

Hi dee hi dee hi dee ho!
(Hi dee hi dee hi dee ho!)


Hi dee hi dee hi dee hi dee...

(Shaddaaaap!!!)


Okayokay, enough nunsense! Listen up, seven up!!!

Hear, for you, is litterature to enjoy your moment of bliss, compose by Okaasan and bought to you from our sponsor. Who shall rename maneless, indivisible, with liberty and justice for Al.  Enjoli this video!!!




P.S. Max, (tit le character from the story, Max) is cock-a-tail and has ability of changling from male to female to back again. 

Okay, now you ready...dig in!!! 





Max

So urusai, yo!

Ugh!

She/he hear outside bird, he hasta start "chinky-chan chinky-chan"...I change her cage today; oh my gaaash, it's a mess. 

Nasty! 

Good thing this doesn't smell, I'm tellin' you!

Now hummingbird cummin like crazy, free food. Hey, not free to me--free to them! 

Freebie cummin like crazy.

Ungrateful freebies!



Stray Cat

"Ahhhh!"...I say..."You hafta wait!"

He pretty good size. Oh my gaaash, what-a his nail...

Ugh!

I say, "ah-ah!"...then I smack him. I smack him head! 

One time I try to pick him. He try to bite me. I smack him, but he won't run away.

He friendly and all that...don't let me hold it or anything like that. One time he come in. Max got all excited!

I told Max, "That your 4-legged big brother!"



Election

So I got this crap everyday, so much...I chop my name off and throw them out.

We all voted no...they oughta give up!

Ugh!

Oh that's horrible...he oughta retired! Making me sick looking at his face!

What-a combination, him and him...Ugh!

I not gonna vote for two of dem...

What-a nerve!


Other People

I wish they just leave me lone!

They all stuff shirt!

They all boring people!

I mean, hey, you know!

Ugh!


Friday, December 31, 2010

"Pink. James Pink."

BingBingBingBingBingBing!!!!!!


Hey...you hit-a jackpot..... Cock-a-doodle-doo!!!

You, Sir or Madman, has winning a prize!!!!!



You're prize is: the very privilege of knowing Mr. P'inks firsts and middles names!!!!!!!!


Aren't you excitment???


What? 

I see the disk of point mint wrapped up in you face like-a crumple up toilet papers that stick to shoo, and you dragging out in front of evrybody. 


Clean that mess up!


Ohhh,,,, waitaminute......did you think you whining one millyon dollar or sumthin? What kina joint you think dis is, Bud? Buddy? Buster?



Or shall I say........Mac????


Oil well. Look on the blight side: you has more useless crap to crowding up you'r brain!!!


NOw...attentions must be paid...or elfs!!


This very holiday seasoning, Old Bean and me surf-risingly finding out that Mr. Pink, lov-a-ble relax consultant and bear-child, has Firsts and Middles names, in addings to the Last name of Pink.


You dont' say?


Hey...Quitus interupptus!


Ahem...meanwhile, accompanying us on our troubles travels, Mr. Pink make known to us, being of sound mind and body, that he would liking to be, henceforth and yonder, re-furred to as:




"PINK. JAMES PINK."




yOU herd right! Your honor of his Engrish heritage, with liberty and justice for all!


Sudsquaintly, afta much more dillydalling, we also finds out the eloosive Middle Name, entitle:


"UTAEMON"  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Named after the famed-moose acter, Ichikawa Utaemon, whom Okaasan adoored while growling up in Japan.    (Looky-loo!!:  Ichikawa Utaemon)




What-a relevation!!!   


Now for some fun...L'ets say, in the altogether, with big booming voice: 


"MR. JAMES UTAEMON PINK"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Did you do it?????   Hmmm???


Do'nt lie to me, Argentina!!!  Eye is watchin' you!!!

Meantimes, have-a fabyoo-louse Knew Year, and try not to destroy your world!!!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Carry Me, Grant!

{Herro}
{Herro}
{Herro}...
HERRO!!!

My, isn't it worm! 


We hair at Pink Otter Potty is wishing you dis-ease 



(free)

 
hoodilay seasons.  


I, being ill and thairfour men ass to society, have ingenuonuously cree-ated my own spittoon    (click here: Helpful info to learning spittoon!)

out of purasuchikku 

(or prastic, for those of you unfortunate wivvout Okaasans)  

bagusu (baggs

of the Vons or Albert's Son variety.

This makeshi(f)t spittoon is then place near the place whair bolidy fruid (namely, spat,) may moss occur, such as bed, florr, car, or lastly, couch, where one is forced to lie, cat and chocklate at hand, whatching Cary Grant movies. 

O, the humanity!

Now I say to you, much as Cary Grant say to Ev-a Me-a Alone-a Saint in North by West:

"How does a girl like you get to be a boy like me?"


Or, vice versa!!!

Hhmmmm???????


Actuarilly, nothing beat the Cary Grant movie to put the smile on you! 

As Leave Me Alone Saint say to Carry-Me Grant, "It's a nice face."



OOOOOOOoooooooohhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! 

 (click here) "A little trouty, but quite good!"



:-)    :-)    :-)     :-)     :-))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

t-OUCH-é!


TO SIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



WITH LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



(mumblebumble garblebarble)...g'nite, ev'b'dy--BE GOOD, and remember the secret phrase that bind us all in dis floating whirl:



"the goat is squeezing through the sphincter"

!



Friday, December 10, 2010

Looney (spit)Toons

Hey!!!!!!!!!! Hows' goin'???

I glad to see Da Evil Mang did not turn you into cat ff-ff,fffff...ffsphtff-ff (coughcough) ffFFfFfFf
-ood! 

(sorry, please xcuse my sudden a tack of Turnips Syndrome). As a wize man wunce observe when confronting with "The Mange": "pure_fuzzy_hate"!

Dis same wize man also say: "I (like) cats, but I (want) food". 

How right you are, sir! How right you are!

And you?

Are you getting fat with sea son's eatings? Me, too!!! An dont' forget to overdrinking as well!!!

Alongs with multiple eatings and drinkings, another "joy" (coughcough) of the see-sun has been, and I shall spell it for you, F-L-E-M-.

Yes!

That fowl-weather friend, that long and winded road, that (coughcough-spitspit) nut that cannot be crack!

Hey, nutbags!

That remind me of a joke I just make up: wats' pink and coughs and spits?
.
.
.
a FLEM-ingo!!!!!

(chitty-chitty.........bangbang!)

P.S. and, goodnite!!!!!!!!!!!!

(coughcoughcoughcoughcoughcoughcough)...

Hey, nutbag, hand me my spittoon! 

Saturday, December 4, 2010

a mESSagE FrOM MAnGo

 hELL, oHHHhHhhH!

i AM MaNGo! tHe caT, AnD YOu aRE## hOoMiN  SSsssScUmmM!11!@^****


mWAHHaHAHaahHA, MwAHAahaHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHA!1!!(&*()&%!

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